


heartbreak in miniature

by fenying



Category: CLC (Band), NCT (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26172433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenying/pseuds/fenying
Summary: Tingyan thinks that if she ever got to hold Yeeun, reallyholdher in the way that she herself so desperately wants to be held, she’d never let go. It terrifies her.
Relationships: Chong Ting Yan | Elkie & Lee Jeno, Chong Ting Yan | Elkie/Jang Yeeun, Jang Yeeun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34
Collections: Girl Group Jukebox - Mixtape Round





	heartbreak in miniature

**Author's Note:**

> Written for GG Jukebox Mixtape Round, inspired by Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko.
> 
> [the prequel to a theoretical seven days au, kind of.]

Jeno perks up when Tingyan sits down opposite him at the little table in the corner, drooping slightly when he actually sees her face. She smiles at him, ruffles his hair good-naturedly. “You seem disappointed.”

“Of course not,” he says immediately. “I just thought—”

“Yeeun would be with me?”

Jeno bites his bottom lip, then nods, looking abashed. Tingyan can’t fault him for it, not when he looks so guilty. He’s a good kid, impossible to resent. She would know—she certainly tried, at first.

“She’s coming, don’t worry. Look, she just texted me.”

Jeno squints at her phone screen before leaning back with a sigh. “You don’t worry that— well, you know. She’ll get held up?”

Tingyan shrugs, pocketing her phone again. It is quite a likely possibility, knowing Yeeun. “If she does, she’ll let me know. She’ll get here eventually. Whether it’s by herself—”

“Or with someone else,” Jeno finishes, his smile tinged with jadedness. He’s too young to look that kind of tired. Tingyan wants to reach over and smooth the lines out of his face, but she knows it’s not her he wants to touch him gently like that. “Noona, do you want something to drink?”

He’s a good kid. She thinks she’s finally hit the point where she’s started feeling more sorry for him than for herself. “A latte would be nice.”

Tingyan drums her fingers on the sticky coffee shop table as Jeno gets up to go order their drinks. Her phone stays silent in her pocket the entire time Jeno waits at the counter, which is a good sign. It still hasn't vibrated once when he returns. “Here,” he says, sliding her drink across the table.

Tingyan takes a grateful sip, letting out a satisfied _ah_ once the flavor hits her tongue. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing,” says Jeno. “My treat.”

“Aish, I’m the older one. Shouldn’t I be treating you?”

Jeno waves her off, and Tingyan relents. “It’s Monday. We could all use a pick-me-up.”

“Mondays suck!” says Tingyan, holding up her plastic cup, and Jeno knocks his cup against hers. 

“Cheers to that,” he says. They both drink. 

Mondays are hard for anyone, but especially for Jeno, who gets his heart broken every week without fail. They’re hard for Tingyan too, but she’s learned how to hide it. 

Jeno sets his cup down to the side. “She break up with this one too?”

“As always. I don’t know how she still does it, to be honest. I’d have given up after the first one.”

“That’s Yeeun-noona for you,” says Jeno with a wistful sigh. 

Tingyan shakes her head, fond. “Would you expect any less?”

Jang Yeeun loves with her whole heart, with an intensity that seems like naivety but Tingyan knows is a surprisingly unshakeable belief in the goodness of other people. Tingyan has watched her love like this for a long time—been loved like this for a long time, too. Perhaps not quite in the way she wishes for, late at night when she can’t sleep and so she watches the rise and fall of Yeeun’s chest from across the room instead, but Yeeun gives herself to others so selflessly that Tingyan can’t bear to ask for any more. 

It’s enough to be like this—to stay in her orbit and watch her back from a distance, hands poised to catch her if she stumbles but afraid to hold her otherwise. Tingyan thinks that if she ever got to hold Yeeun, really _hold_ her in the way that she herself so desperately wants to be held, she’d never let go. It terrifies her. 

Yeeun is selfless, so much so that sometimes Tingyan wants to ask her to be a little more selfish, if not for her own sake, than for Tingyan’s. But Tingyan has always been too selfish when it comes to Yeeun, so she swallows the words she wants to say, bitter like cough medicine. 

“Do you think she’ll ever stop?”

Tingyan shrugs with a practiced nonchalance. “If she ever finds someone she thinks she could fall in love with, I guess. ‘The One,’” she says, making air quotes with her fingers. 

Jeno groans. “It’s been months now. How many more guys is she going to go through before she finds ‘The One?’”

Tingyan frowns. “You know, I don’t get why _you_ still haven’t asked her out yet.”

Jeno’s face immediately turns a bright red, and he hides his face in his hands. “No way. I couldn’t do that,” he says, the sound muffled.

“Why not?”

“She broke up with Kim Mingyu yesterday,” says Jeno, distressed. “Kim Mingyu! He’s, like, the ideal boyfriend. He literally has a face like a model, and I heard he cooks like a professional chef.”

“So?” says Tingyan. “Just because someone’s good at cooking doesn’t mean they’re good to date.”

“Not the point, noona,” says Jeno. “Half the girls in any of my classes would cut off their left arms for the chance to date him, and Yeeun-noona still broke up with him.”

“Ah,” says Tingyan, the realization finally clicking. “And you’re worried you don’t stand a chance in comparison.”

Jeno nods meekly. Tingyan sighs. “Jeno-yah, you can’t think like that. You’re sweet and handsome, too. I’m sure you’d be a great boyfriend.”

“It’s not just that,” says Jeno, shaking his head. “I just— if I asked Yeeun-noona out, and we went through the whole seven days, and at the end of the week she looks at me with that sad look and gives me her whole speech—”

“‘Sorry I couldn’t fall in love with you, let’s break up,’” Tingyan recites.

Jeno flinches at the sound of the words being said out loud. “I wouldn’t be able to take it,” he says in a soft voice. “I think I’d rather keep loving her from afar than to have my heart broken like that.”

It's far too familiar of a sentiment for comfort, and this is where the problem lies. Tingyan knows so acutely the fear of finality, the small relief that comes from ambiguity, from continuing as if nothing has to change. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't, after all. And yet—she and Jeno are not the same. Things are different for them. 

Her story may be doomed to a bitter ending, but Jeno's isn't. 

Tingyan rests her elbows on the table, cupping her chin in her hands. “I didn’t take you for a coward,” she says plainly, staring at him from across the table.

Jeno shrinks into himself, face falling. Tingyan holds up a hand before he can get the wrong idea. “I wasn’t finished yet.

“You’re one of the kindest people I know, Jeno,” she says, “but that sort of kindness comes from incredible strength. You are strong enough to recover from a broken heart. You will learn how to move on.”

Jeno bites down on his lip. “I don’t know, noona. Just thinking of it is already painful.”

“It’ll be hard,” says Tingyan, not unkindly. “It will hurt. But in the end, won’t you be glad to have known?”

Jeno shrugs, still looking uneasy. “I guess it’s like ripping off a bandaid.”

“Exactly. Plus, that’s only if it goes badly,” Tingyan says brightly. “For all I know, you could be her perfect match. You could be ‘The One,’ Jeno. Don’t let your fear of getting hurt stop you from being happy.”

“You really think so?”

“Ask her out,” says Tingyan, pushing her own selfishness down, down, down, burying it until she feels less like she’s about to choke on it. “You have everything to gain.”

Jeno lets out a breath, shoulders slumping. “You’re right,” he says. “I can be brave.”

“You already are, Jeno,” says Tingyan, putting on her most supportive smile. She can do this much, at least. For Jeno, and for Yeeun. “You already are.”

The bell hanging above the door frame jingles. Tingyan already knows who it is before she even sees Jeno’s face brighten up, before she even turns around—it’s a sixth sense, almost, honed from years of being at Yeeun’s side. 

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late,” Yeeun pants, running up to them. “My class ran late and I didn’t bring my bike.”

She’s alone. It’s 3 p.m. on a Monday afternoon and Yeeun is here alone, no boy already hanging off her arm, which means that the spot for her date of the week is still vacant. “No worries,” says Tingyan, shooting a look at Jeno. 

Jeno nods at her before standing up, attention focused solely on Yeeun. Tingyan knows that look well—it’s the look she finds herself giving Yeeun sometimes, if she isn’t careful. “Actually, can I talk to you, Yeeun-noona?”

“Sure!” Yeeun says brightly. “Here, or—”

“Outside.”

Tingyan watches them walk outside, watches them through the clear glass windows of the coffee shop as Jeno’s hands twist and his cheeks heat up and Yeeun listens to everything he says with a rapt expression, face open and guileless. She watches the exact moment Yeeun’s face breaks into a smile, the same moment Jeno’s shyness takes on a simple joy. She watches Yeeun step towards him, eyes unbearably fond. It’s the kind of fondness Tingyan used to think was reserved for just her—wishes it still was. 

She watches them come back inside together, hands twined and swinging between them with a familiar ease, and another little piece of her heart breaks. 

She looks away. 


End file.
